I crave the indulgence of all my readers… last week ran away from me. I thought I had it under control, but time slipped through my fingers like sand and before I could tell, I missed my every weekend update.

Mea Culpa!

Mujhe maarph kar do!!

Make una no vex!!!

Here is the follow up y’all…

Read! Like!! Comment!!! Follow!!!


What Could Have Been…

Chapter IV

“Hmmm!” Jane cooed pleasantly, leaning against Tobe’s chest as they watched some infernal rom-com about a bunch of teenagers and a kissing booth. Neither of them seemed able to concentrate on the characters roaming about on the 52” Samsung LCD screen.

Tobe had an arm around Jane’s supple girth with his palm resting lightly in her generously bodacious tatas. She was seated betwixt his thighs on the two-seater cushion in the living room that faced the dining area and the kitchen in which Ekene laboured diligently, working on what would be their dinner.

“Hmmm!” Jane cooed again.

She had a hand trapped between her and Tobe, running fingers over the rigid length that was, at this time hidden beneath a few layers of cloth. She let herself enjoy the richness of his girth and the heat that seeped through the fabric of his clothes, soaking her hands in his manliness. She enjoyed the feel of his gentle hands on her breasts that stretched her Liverpool jersey to the point of obscenity. It was originally her brother’s, but what was his was hers anyways, so it was her shirt to wear and destroy.

Just the two of us…

Tobe, sensing the frisky attitude of the buxom beauty in his arms, turned his attention from the screen for a few minutes to nibble on her earlobes for a while. He found himself smiling as he felt her arch her back and moan piteously at his gentle ministrations. He liked the way she called his name when she was excited, the heat in her eyes when she had something naughty to say; he was also sure he would have loved the way she cried out in the heat of passion. Alas, Ekene returned from work to destroy the castle they built of their passion.

Jane could barely contain the mish-mash of desire that proximity to Tobe incited in her originally; now, with his tumescence in her hand and her earlobes playing on his lips, she was going mad with want. She turned on an ephemeral axis that ran parallel to Tobe’s body, pressing her full weight into his chest as she breathed in his lips through hers, tasting the wine and chicken – that they had shared while they waited for Ekene to finish his pot of ‘Something nice’ which he prepared as his way of apology for returning unannounced and ruining Tobe’s quality time – in his breath.

“Who stole the meat from my cooking pot?!”

Ekene thundered from the kitchen, gripping a bowl of fried chicken in one hand and a wooden spatula in the other. Neither Tobe nor Jane seemed to hear him.

“I said…” He repeated with more force in his voice that caused the hands-on couple to jump for shock, “WHO THE HELL STOLE THE MEAT FROM MY COOKING POT?!”

“Dude!!!” Tobe asked, a layer of anger coloured his voice, “Men at work man”

“Shut up and answer me gaddemnit! Who the hell took the meat?”

“What meat?”

Tobe asked with the most innocent visage he could paste on his face. Jane seeing the, overly innocent and incredibly fake look on Tobe’s face, made a show of wiping lipstick stains from his lips while she cleaned off the remnant oily markers that may have sold out Tobe’s ruse. Ekene, it seemed, was none the wiser.

“There were twelve pieces of chicken in here, now there are ten!”

“And you are sure you did not make a mistake with your counting?”

“Yes… Almost as sure as I am that you are the culprit I am looking for!”

Gasp!” Tobe gasped in faux-shock and anger, holding his free hand to his chest while the other sank into the suppleness that was Jane’s lower waist. To the untrained eye, it looked like he was protecting his guest from Ekene’s wrath; the truth, however, was that he was holding her to his chest so that her body-shaking fits of suppressed laughter could remain unnoticed for a while longer.

“How dare you slander me in the presence of my guest?!” Tobe asked in a righteous anger and a hardened scowl that caused his eyebrows to twitch continuously, giving Ekene some insights to the truth of the matter.

Ekene looked at the silly antics of his oldest friend and he could almost clearly see what happened. He turned his attention to Jane who was doing her best to suppress the laughter that was threatening to burst out of her at the slightest chance. He let his eyes roam over her body, appreciating the generous curves of her hips and derriere in her black stretch-trousers and the way her thighs and calves swelled and curved in all the right places. He had to admit that Tobe found a sweet piece of tail in his new belle.

Beautiful and young, soft-spoken and gentle, smart and kind-hearted; she was, at a glance, perfect. Ekene had, in the few minutes he met her, wished he had been the one who met her outside the hospital instead of Tobe whom he was sure would bring out the darkness in this beautiful young lady who was ten years younger than they were.

Great as her curves were, and distracting as her figure was, it still did not explain the case of the disappearing chicken wings, so Ekene turned to the accomplice in the crime.

The Missing Wings Report…

“Jane… can you tell me what really happened?”

“What?” Jane asked as she lifted her face from Tobe’s chest and turned to Ekene with an even more innocent countenance on her face that, not only accentuated her youth and beauty, but also screamed her inability to hide the truth from Ekene.

“Please…” Ekene began, falling to one knee as he brought his eyes to level with hers, “Can you tell me who it was that stole the meat from the cooking pot?”

With fidgeting fingers interwoven and pearly white teeth nibbling on succulent lips and in a small voice, Jane proffered an answer that left Ekene bereft of words

“My plus-one stole the meat from the cooking pot”

Her shy response came in a sing-song nursery rhyme form that Tobe could not stop himself from adding.

“Oh… Me?!”

“Yes you!” Jane called again with a smile that was as breath-taking as it was mischievous.

“It couldn’t be!” Tobe smiled in return.

He had long since given up on ever finding someone whose craze matched his so well. They don’t make crazy like they used to in the good ‘ol days. He found himself thanking his stars, for what must have been the hundredth time since he met her the previous day, for having met this wonderfully kind and incredibly unstable woman who seemed determined to break his frigid heart to life.

“Then…” Jane’s call was cut short by Ekene’s maddened bellow.


“Yes Daddy!” Tobe and Jane said in unison.

“You…” Ekene was not sure how he felt. The spontaneous sing-song was, he could only grudgingly admit, funny; however, what really stole his cake was the fact that he had placed his hopes on getting Jane to tell him the truth and ‘out’ his carnivorous friend, putting an end to his fried-meat thieving spree. He least expected her to do just that in the most meaningless manner possible.

“Did I do something wrong?” Jane coyly asked again with her fingers intertwined and teeth against her lips.

“… No…”


“Why did you raise your voice at her?” Tobe continued the fight.

Ekene looked at the couple sitting in front of him, he wanted nothing more than to smack both their faces with the throw-pillows on their cushion, but he knew better than to let un-cool heads prevail.

“You know…” Ekene began as he rose to his feet, “Of all the beautiful girls in Abuja that you could have found, you chose one with a few screws loose in the head”.

A few moments ago, he had wished that it was he who had found the young beauty, Jane; a lady who could make him do things he had forgotten how to do, things he would like to relearn.

Like make long calls into the night, or have uncensored, risqué, sexy video calls; even more, he no longer remembered what it felt like to need someone or what it felt like to be needed. The way, it seemed, Jane seemed to need Tobe, and the way he seemed to need her. They had maintained a form of contact with each other from the minute he opened the door; they touched and felt each other, intermittently, as if they were unsure that the other was real, and upon discovering that the other was- in fact – real, each would hold onto the other, so as to maintain contact with that reality.

Now, they seemed to understand jokes that had not even been said and join in long before he, Ekene (the woe-begotten third-wheel), could tell that a joke was being told. By the time he had figured out the beginning of the joke, the joke is already ended and they were already laughing; naturally, he half-assumed that he was the butt of most of these shared laughs but he did not mind much.

Tobe, to Ekene’s mind, was already a hand and mind full! To think he would, by some stroke of – potentially disastrous – luck, find someone who was just like him and then for them to connect so deeply in such a short time… Ekene did not know if he should laugh and be happy for his dear friend or cry and be worried about his state of mind going forward.

Ekene shook his head as he turned away from them and into the kitchen, muttering just loud enough to be heard, “…You really found your missing rib!”

Hold the Wings… The Ribs runneth!!!

“Baby!!!” Ekene heard Jane’s sweet voice squeal brightly as he walked away from the couple, “He thinks I’m beautiful!”

“Really?!” Tobe asked with a huge grin on his face that slowly dissolved into a slow laugh that shook his chest as he released his trademark demoniacal laugh that seemed to always bring some moisture to Jane’s thigh.

“REALLLY?!!!” Ekene asked almost immediately after. There was no understating his shock when he heard her comment. He was sure she would be offended by the screws-loose comment or, at least, unhappy about it.

‘What manner of selective processing is this abeg?!’ Ekene thought to himself before he asked.

“That’s what you took?”

“That’s all you heard?”

Tobe’s question came within nano-seconds of Ekene’s, it could be believed that they asked their questions at the same time. The intents behind the questions, though, were different.

While Ekene was thinking she would have been hurt by his words, Tobe was sure she would not. He was aware that she was aware that she was not very well in the head. She was aware that her mind space worked different from the people around her, which in fact made her seem crazy to some. Ekene’s harsh words felt more like a statement of truth, to her, than anything.

Tobe was merely curious as to why she only seemed to react to the ‘beautiful girl’ bit.

“Well yeah!!!” Jane said, rolling her head in tandem with her rolling eyes, shrugging her shoulders as he flipped her pink frills off her brows; “I’m not exactly a normal person so it’s ok if he thinks I’m a little insane, but if he really thinks I’m beautiful, then I must be a little prettier than I thought!!!”

She beamed a bright smile at Tobe who could not seem to stop laughing at her beautiful smile. He had sensed that she had a form of insecurity in her looks and thought it had to do with the scars from her operations, he figured she thought they made her feel unpretty. He only just now realised that she might be a bit more insecure than he had originally thought.

“I agree with him, you are beautiful” Tobe said with a quiet smile.

“Thanks bae” She replied calmly, running her hand over his thigh.

“Hey you’re not gonna gush over mine?” Tobe asked with slightly stunned look on his face.

“Not really”, she shrugged her response, “You kinda like me so I’m pretty sure you are biased…”

“I… take offense”. Tobe said in jest, laughing even as he tried to scowl.

“I’m sorry!” She laughed along, falling into his chest to kiss him again. Something about the way his lips tasted, how they felt when she ran her tongue over those thin yet full lips of his. The way his tongue felt against her lips, her tongue, or when he licked the underside of her tongue in a way that made her toes curl. Even the way his breath poured into her mouth when she paused to catch her breath. She was sure she could kiss him all day – every day for as long as she was alive.

Ekene, who had been locked in place since her original question, stood watching the passionate duo as they fenced with their tongues and wrestled with their lips. A ray of envy touched against his heart as he watched them pour their unspoken words into their lips which they then passed on to the other in a kiss. It felt as though they had created a new language that could only be spoken and understood by the mashing of lips and the swapping of sputum and other oral fluids.

‘To think that my insult led to them having a couple bonding moment… I want!!!’ Ekene cried in his heart, turning away from the duo as they lost themselves in each other. Ekene was sure Tobe would not be sure where he began and where she ended if he was asked to illustrate at the moment.

Tobe, for lack of a better adjective, was an unstable fellow who needed constant guidance lest he did something catastrophic to himself. Jane, it seemed was equally unstable and in need of supervision as well. They truly were a great match themselves; woe, however, onto those who they look to for supervision.

“All them dis one have craze finish!!!”

With that, Ekene tackled the pot of Rice and Jamaican sauce before him, making sure it was a masterpiece that births an orgasm in the mouth (a mouthgasm) with every spoon.

“Yo! Chow is ready you guys…”

Ekene called a few minutes after the meal was ready to eat. He had dished the rice into plates and poured a layer of the, the vegetable and root rich, sauce over it. He did not feel he had to announce his entry into the living area where the glass-top dining table was; but if he had, then he would not have seen Jane’s arched back, pressing into Tobe who skilfully took off her bra and shirt as he gloried in her bodacious tatas, nibbling and suckling as Jane pressed and gyrated her crotch into his.


Get a Room please!!!

To be continued…


  1. Wait… I don’t understand.

    Did Kane write something that can be considered remotely funny?

    And did this love something something he wrote seem dysfunctional but possible?


    Why does this feel like Kane wrote a first hand account of what he feels love would look like when it finds him?

    Who am i kidding? KANE will never let love touch him. Not if he has a choice.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Eeeeerrrr what in the world of Nicholas Sparks is Yu doing😧 Yu slept on Thöriniel‘ bed or something?

    Anyway, I feel, (I think) that this is one of the most dangerous ways of being in a relationship; cuz what happens when they both are Well, and they no longer need each other? Translation,they bonded over their “Situation” so when they are all healthy and both in their feel good zone, what happens after they realize they only were together because they needed each other to help get them through what they were going through. I am just Saying 🤥

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Who is Nicholas Sparks?

      Well, there is a belief that relationships built around traumatic experiences last longer, or at least make for better stories.
      Or don’t you agree?


      1. Nicholas Sparks The guy that gave us stories like the note book, a walk to remember that Nicholas.

        Better Stories I could agree.
        Buh what do I know

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh that Nicholas Sparks? (Never heard of him)… He does have a few good stories.

    Wait a minute… Is this a compliment or a dig?
    I can’t tell right now


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