Thöriniel, the poor sap of an emotional writer, is here again with a wonderful piece of literature. Discussing his views on the realities of love in the 21st Century.
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LOVE… A CRAZY THING
What is love?
The answers are as plentiful as the lyrics to the songs in an Indian movie.
It is a beautiful thing.
Life is nothing without it.
The one thing all hearts crave.
Various writers have, at one pointin their careers, touched on the subject called love but most of them have failed to answer the questions that we have.
Sometimes, we find ourselves head over heels in love, and the person with whom we are hopelessly in love with, more often than not, offers a false sense of security. We are so wrapped up in the fantasy that is created by the euphoria of being in love that it helps in our escape of reality and thus we are drawn into a world of hurt, deceit and pain.
There is an old saying:
the purest form of love Is usually the love between a mother and child
True, but sadly enough we are in a period whereby even such form of that is actually meant to be the purest form has been distorted. A swift browse o the buzzarw information that plagues the internet and you will find too many stories of Oedipus-rex and his ilk, staining the minds of many with their incestuous relationship with their mothers. Some of them are actually the victims of their mother’s depravity!
That, however, is beside the point.
When ever we are in love, our sense of reason is clouded by emotions and thus our judgement usually becomes biased offering excuses for the loved ones who hurt us. Too often you would see a woman with swollen eyes, broken nose and a severely bruised lip crying to her friends that she still loves the bastard who messed her face up but good. The self-same bastard that will not hesitate to sleep with any of those friends should a chance present itself.
Why is this though?
Why are we such fools for the ones we love?
How come we can’t see the truths of their character flaws when we love them?
I need the answers to these questions!
At various points, our hearts are caught in the web of love and as such we believe that such relationships will be the last of our quests and the end of our lasting membership in the circle of singles. We become the person that we believe the other wants to settle down with, forgoing every other chance we have at finding happiness with others.
Life, as always, teaches us a brutal lesson as it always does whenever we think we have it all figured out. Falling in love is easy, any idiot can pull it off, however, over the course of the relationship questions and doubts will start to creep in.
Other girls will make him stray, other men will make her smile. He will stop calling like he used to and she will no longer take your words as the greatest piece of wisdom that was ever heard.
The key here is not falling in love but rather staying in love.
Love is much more than dreams and fairy tales. I hate Disney and all their stories of happily ever after, and I hate Harlequin and Mills&Boons more for warping the expectation of girls and ladies around the world.
Many expect to hear fireworks and pigeons flying overhead when they kiss the one their heart lusteth after. Some even can’t understand how the person who loves them can be unfaithful.
“But you love me?!” You would hear them say, “How could you do this to me?!”
Then the happily ever after they built in their minds crumbles into non-existence and love becomes a thing that should not exist in their hearts.
They hate the one they loved and pour this anger on all and every member of their sex.
Funny how sad it is to watch our loved ones becomes strangers before our very eyes.
Over the years, life has proven beyond every reasonable doubts that with love comes a price.
Love, they say, is a beautiful thing but in reality there is a degree of pain that comes with being in love as in most cases it never ends well.
Loves reduces us from our realm of invincibility and reduces us to mere mortals.
We usually entrap ourselves in relationships that seek to reduce our worth as humans.
We choose to suffer the pain of an abusive and cheating partner and after such turn of events leave a negative impact on us we shield our hearts against future entanglement and unwanted emotions.
It is, however, undeniable that love is truly crazy as it has a funny way of creeping up on us when we least expect it, after all, the heart wants what the heart wants.
Love is meant to be an elixir that nourishes the soul but the question on my mind is HOW TRUE IS LOVE THESE DAYS?
DOES IT STILL EXIST?
I remember asking Kane this once and the fellow said:
True love does exist, but everything that has a beginning has and end.
You can love someone so fiercely as you kiss her goodnight, and when you wake up, you realise the love you once felt is gone.
If it was born, it will die and nothing dies faster than love.
I hate to agree with the man, but what I have seen of love in the people around me forces me to see the merit in the fellow’s argument.
Chilvary and honour is not even a thing among lovers anymore. Secrecy and privacy and lies and deception.
I am not ashamed to say that I am scared of the concept of love in the 21st century. The way it changes people and make them something other than what they are.
Love is a beautiful thing so I am forced to believe that love has not changed over time, people have. We have become a godless race and the finer points of being human have been filtered out of the current generation of people.
We will call a leper attractive if he is worth a few million naira. Many people love the rubbish songs we hear in radio not because the songs are good, but because the guy who sang the song is rich and famous.
Love is only what the person who feels it makes of it.
Love, thus, has become affected by human nature and sadly the hardships of life as such, certain ideologies and philosophies on the idea of love arises chief amongst them being:
How to display love in this self-loving, truth hating times.
How to discern true love in the sin-filled and godless nation.
How to remove the filthy glasses of love and tell our loved ones the flaws in their nature/character.
In actual sense, love is nothing but a fleeting emotion and when the euphoria of being love wears off, we are left with reality which stares us in the face and thus the angel we once knew becomes a monster we can not stand. And it is at that moment that we realise a simple truth; LOVE IS NEVER ENOUGH.