How are ya?
I bring you a body of words put together by an exceptional mind. He is friend and brother and the most passionate fellow I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing.
I give you LIFE AND WHAT-NOT by Thöriniel.
LIFE AND WHAT-NOT
Sometimes, as human beings, our minds are overcome by a myriad of emotions ranging from love to anger, fear to courage, honor and deception. Sometimes, these emotions can shuttle through our minds so quickly it becomes a weird hybrid that is almost indistinguishable.
As a young man faced with the challenges of everyday life, it is safe to say that life deals us a tough hand. Each hand, different from the last, never fails to teach us valuable lessons at every turn.
Chief among these lessons used to be my younger brother’s favourite mantra:
NOBODY LOVES YOU
I may be the eldest of my siblings, but in actual sense, I have seen my little brother turn into a man void of no weakness and full of strength; a strength that even myself at his age could not muster.
Sometimes, I wish I was more like him, but I am just a man who is yet to grasp the strengths that lie within me.
My greatest flaw, in my opinion, has been my emotions; most apparent amongst them fear! Will I, one day, outgrow this fear or will I continue to live with it… Will I allow my life to be ruled by it?
My source of joy, in the face of this flaw, has always been my family.
I dare say that the fact that we are still united as one family has been my mother’s greatest achievement.
I just hope sincerely that my future missus (Mrs) raises my kids the way my mother raised us.
I sometimes look at the woman who my mother is; I mean, I critically look at her, the grey in her hair and the creases on her brows, the ease with which she smiles and the strengths behind her tears. I look at her and ask myself:
“How did she endure this measure of pain for 26 years?”
“How has she lived with this yoke for so long, toiling and bearing her cross with all the grace and piety of a saint?”
“How can one live with the crushing sadness of being underappreciated and unloved by the one who should matter most and still manage to see the good in that person?”
“How can one do all that and still be termed a failure?”
Our society blames women for failed marriages but, in sincerity, we, men, contribute our fair share of damages as well.
How many men can claim that they are willing to put in half as much effort to save their marriage as they expect their wives to?
How many men can tolerate the, face slapping, insult of living with an unfaithful wife and accept this fact as a part of life?
What man would even accept that he is responsible for the lack of children in his home?
Truth is, in the over 50 million men in Nigeria, less than 5% will agree to any of these things. It is a sad and shameful fact.
It is high time we raise men and I mean men in every sense of the word.
Men who would appreciate their lot in life, men who will love and protect the things that need be cherished.
My sister, the one apple in our family of coconuts, whom we all love; I have seen you grow into a strong and opinionated woman. Continue to fight for yourself and always to remember to love yourself first. Learn from the errors of those who walked before you and swear to never fall into the same pits they fell.
Never subject yourself to abuse!
Never allow your basic rights to be denied you!
You can not allow your brilliance to be shielded!
You have a good head on your shoulder, your voice must be heard!
If any of these fall short, remember that you have a small army at your beck and call.
We love you and wish only the best things for you.
I sincerely hope to cast away the bleak shadow that looms over us and I pray we become the best versions of ourselves, if for no other reason than for our beautiful mother and for the sake of our unborn children.
I walk forward with a strong heart and a solemn vow never to become the man who taught me the ways of men.